Posted by: ahypio | April 17, 2008

Joining the ranks of the four eyed freaks.

Various members of my family have been harping on me for years to go to the eye doctor. Not because I was driving my car off the road or running into things but because “it’s something you’re supposed to do”. Of course I’m a young red blooded American male (with blue leaning politics) so I often refuse to do things just because “it’s something I’m supposed to do”. Sometime in January my wallet and drivers license got stolen and I needed to go to the DMV to get a new one. After waiting in line for two hours I was finally allowed to approach the clerk. I filled out my paperwork, wrote my check and she asked me to look into the box to take the vision test. No sweat right? Wrong! I peered deeply into the magic vision box and saw a bunch of blurry blobs. I tried closing one eye to see if it made things better but they have a magic trick that makes everything go even blurrier if you only use eye. I panicked but took a couple of deep breaths to calm myself and thought quickly. I knew I needed to pass this thing or I was going to have to come back later and wait in that evil line again. I decided to make an educated guess about what letters the blurry blobs were and to talk quickly with my patented mumble to try to BS my way through the test. It worked! The clerk who probably made $8 an hour to deal with pissed off drunks begging for their license back didn’t even pay attention to what I said and passed me. At that moment I decided maybe I did need to see an eye doctor. Fast Forward to April. I’m sitting at my desk at work staring at my PC and my right eyelid begins twitching uncontrollably. No matter what I do it wont stop for days. OK, now I really need to call the eye doctor. I can BS my way through a vision test but I can’t deal with this twitching 24/7. To shorten an already too long story, I saw the Optometrist and sure enough I have an astigmatism in my right eye and need glasses. So if you see a really tall guy riding down the trail in Rec Specs take pity. Please don’t laugh and make Jr high jokes about the geek on a bike and ask me where my jersey pocket protector is. Just smile and wave.
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